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To Be Bespoke.

March 23, 2009

Things are looking good.

I recently got praised by my COO, HR manager and Brand Manager during a training class by my company and I feel it just paved the way for my seniorship promotion. However, self judgment kicks in…and I’m now wondering if I do have wad it takes. I’m relfecting on my work procedures, how I handle them and comparing myself to the seniors in other shops. I’m sad to admit – I’m still lacking in aspects.

I can consider this a wake up call , since i seem to be at the edge of my path now. I really gotta do some shake up before I get sat down for the real deciding interview. It will no longer be senarios and “what-will-you-do-ifs” but the real, on-the-floor and on-the-fly decision making everyday.

I pray I will emerge ready.

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On a lighter note (lighter since I consider my work more impt den my gf), we are fine now. The occasional bickering and small cold wars are still there…but it warms the memories now, not tears it.

Like I believed, the more we bicker, the more we understand of each other…but I’m starting to see the traits of character which I find unacceptable. Her lack of self-awareness and utter dependency on me is really straining. Consider this – I was having abdominal discomforts due to my gastric flu and all she did was ignore me becoz I didn’t pick her up from the mrt and didn’t pick up her call(I was struggling with my rectum in the loo).

Stuff that I noe I cannot have in my life.

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And finally this part is about the title : To Be Bespoke.

This tagline is actually from one of Zara’s many small collections, themes like MTV collabs, dc comic collabs( Superman/Batman) and those vintage style -whatever styled collections.

I’ve got this sudden urge to custom almost all my stuff. I acquired a softshell jacket recently and I wanna make some additions to it.

To make it look like this:

jacket-insidejacketslungPics courtesy of ACRONYM.

Also, I’m really itching to go to bangkok and get a nice black cropped blazer tailored for me. Something to go with really washed jeans.

I’ve got ideas for about 7pieces of clothes…3shirts, 1 jacket, 1 cardigan and 2 jeans/pants….some are to be totally bespoke, some are planned to be slightly customed like the jacket.

But I’m going to pay off all my company n cards next mth…I tink this dream might fuifill itself only in July. Or if I strike tat elusive ToTo 1st prize. hahaa!

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Why.

March 5, 2009

Why do supposingly non-existant quarrels/issues surface from the vocal dwellings of mostly women?

Why does my girl(note the obvious difference) pays so much effort towards behaving in an irrational and unreasonable behavior over petty things?

Why is it a love that demands nothing but simple ,honest, trustworthy co-existence between 2 willing parties – end up demanding for everything else too?

Why does her anger and unhappiness last for over days when mine disperse in the next morning’s air?

Why am I emotionally blackmailed into restricting myself from my dearest friends?

Why am I unable to perform my own routine in my own dwelling and forced to comply with an ungrateful party?

Why is that simple male reason will never triumph over female tantrums?

Why do you wanna make me decide to be alone ?

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Lost and Found.

February 13, 2009

Sorry to say its been another “ages” since I last posted. However that doesn’t mean this blog is dead!

I recently accompanied my gf back to her hometown in Ipoh and met her family and all. They gave me a cold feeling at 1st (plus I was kinda nervous), but they soon warmed up to me after they observed me for the 1st day.

They’re not those loud or gushing kinda people…more like laid back,reserved folks. And its cool. Her dad and mum dun work and her bro’s in the construction industry. The folks plant superbly delicious bananas and papayas in their backyard. They are sweeter and bigger than those u find in NTUC!! Oh yeh dun forget about the coconuts…her dad’s fav ove is to load a couple in the fridge and let the juice freeze, and den u got coconut ice! Super yummy man….I’m missing that already. 😀

We met up with her old classmates and frens, shopped about but as usual…she’s the only 1 buying stuff. I’m not saying I’m too atas for the clothes there…but though cheap as they might be…I can’t see myself in those clothes. I mean I can’t even find decent plain stuff there. Sadly to say the only shirt that caught my eye there…was just a lil weird on the color combi.

Another bad thing was that she misplaced our PSP. I tink she left it on the bus or something…damn. We always lose something when we go to Malaysia together. I tink next time I’ll carry all the gadgets and cash myself. LOL!

Her sis, Ah Ling and her son , Hao zai was very friendly too! I almost ditched my gf for Hao zai coz he was such a handful…running around and keep on wanting to eat. I really brushed up on my Cantonese there coz Hao zai doesn’t understand a word of chinese LOL!!! But he really listens to me and I was almost like his big bro over there…I tink my ability to coax children is still instilled in me…thx God. 😀

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Her sis brought us to tour around Cameron Highlands and we had a drink at a scenic spot. Really nice view of the surrounding tea orchards! But the winding path we had to take when we went home was a real nightmare…

We spent a total of 6 days there…and it was a really amazing 6 days. Its a little weird to say this…but I can’t wait to go back…..and playing with Hao zai!!! haha!

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Ssssssmokin`!!!

December 8, 2008

Recently I’ve come to ponder about how Singaporean Smokers are marginalised in our very own country.

For one thing – yes I have to agree that smoking itself, is harmful to yourself and the people around you(mind you these “people around you” are referring to people in your close proximity over a constant /long period of time. People like your parents, siblings, child, colleagues,partner.Other den these people, those with severe health problems aka asthma sufferers, sinus sufferers or those with acute breathing problems will be adversely affect by our smoking.

But can you imagine, that we are such a health threat that we have to continue our habit in zones and marked out areas that cater a space that is usually insufficient for the number of actual users? If you don’t get my drift…den please, the next time to go to a coffeeshop , look at the smokers section. Its not crowded there becoz there are so many smokers, its crowded becoz there is so little seats for smokers.

Smokers on average , pay a higher tax den most citizens in the exact same social conditions(work/salary/lifestyle) due to the extremely high duty tax levied on cigarettes. However, they are made to patronise the same restaurant/ hawker centre/ coffeeshop and are made to sit in a corner, zoned with a yellow coloring on the floor with offending (yes, I find it offending) signs dictating that this is a space that they are ALLOWED and SUPPOSED to continue their habit in. And we face a fine if we don’t. Now tell me , how would you feel, if a restaurant opened its doors, asked if you wanted a non-smoking seat and directed you to a space that was designated to your habits and that space was AT MOST 10% OF THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT SEATING AREA. And you have company of 10. In the middle of lunchtime.

The Smokers probably cheered. But the non-smoker would have went home and blasted that restaurant on The Straits Time’s Forum Page.

The absolutely frustrating thing is , that non Smokers actually vie with us for that limited space too! Considering that we are legally obliged to occupy only the smoking section of the eatery, the general public is allowed to encroach into our designated spot AT WHIM! We can’t even evict them from their seats JUST BECAUSE WE ARE SMOKERS because the seats are for the GENERAL PUBLIC. So wad kind of dilemma do we Smokers end up in?

Designated Smoking areas are also discriminatory – for those who have served in National Service, we all know wad it is. Its a Yellow Box. We’ve been trapped in it for 2 years, now its on the streets. How abt we put a lane for Smokers to walk in while non Smokers walk in a glass lane? We shouldn’t have to live this way?!

I am a Smoker and its been my habit since I was 15. I know its bad for my health and others , but everyone will agree that its my life and how I live it is my own doing. But no habit should have you publicly humiliated exactly because nobody deserves that. Why should a Smoker go down the street , minding his own business and enjoying a stick – be subject to some auntie waving her hand in the air infront of her as you pass. As if her hands, gesturing like some ventilation turbine, is fast enough to channel the smoky( the word is with italics because it is perceived) air out of her airflow?

Its downright rude. Its like a White Man crossing the street when he sees a Black Man coming towards him on the pavement. Its DISCRIMINATION.But then again I dun wish to blow the bugles of Smokers without admitting to our faults.

Yes, we are fucked up too at times. The worst of us spit,throw our cigg butts blatantly, our empty cigg boxes are conveniently forgotten as we walk off from our bench or chair. We also are guilty of not taking the well being of others into consideration , with acts like standing upwind of a bus stop as we smoke, exhaling smoke while in crowds, wielding lit ciggs too close to people walking alongside or towards us on the pavements. How can we expect the understanding of non smokers when we are constantly stepping on their toes?

So I devise a Smokers’ Etiquette .

This following list contains simple acts of common sense that hopefully one day : will allow us to no longer be ridiculed by unknown aunties , health freaks and the general non smoking public. In return they will be more tolerant, understanding and courteous to Smokers.

  1. Throw your cigg butts,plastic wrappers,empty cigg boxes in proper bins at all times. Ashes are not part of the deal but you can try to contain the mess you make by all means.
  2. Stay on the downwind. Don’t smoke at the front of the bus stop – the oncoming wind blows your exhaled smoke to the dozens of others behind you.
  3. Watch your butt. I mean your cigg butt – ever tried brushing the lit end on your own skin? Well it hurts – so do other people! Move your lit stick away from oncoming human traffic, be aware of your sticks.
  4. Be morally upright. Don’t bellow out smoke in the direction of people, especially babies, pregnant mothers, young children, for god’s sakes people in general! You’re not Scarface or some gangster chasing a owed debt.
  5. Know when not to smoke. Yes you let the stick burn and that means your money is burning. But for fuck’s sakes…smoking while waiting for the traffic light to turn in Orchard Rd??? Its annoying even for a Smoker to be breathing in your Exhale.

Overall, I hope Smokers and non Smokers can stay in this City with no Ugly Yellow Boxes and packed smoking areas. In return, let us all Smokers be wiser and kinder to those who do not share the same enthusiasm as us in the enjoyment of a good tobacco product.  Thank You.

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Basket Case.

November 23, 2008

A really funny thing happened yesterday as we were shopping for groceries at the supermarket.

I was getting Pei Yi’s fav mushrooms and I asked her to get a shopping basket. When she returned, she had in her hand a red basket which was awkwardly different from the supermarket’s usual green 1. I figured it was all right coz I saw a stack of them behind her from where she was coming from. We shopped and was about to pay…when the cashier asked us if we were gonna buy the basket.

Only den did I realise tat the basket was for sale and not a shopping basket! We laughed so hard at our folly tat the cashier , a middle-aged lady couldn’t help but stifle a giggle!

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Rustin (my cousin) and I went to a Anime Exhibition @ Suntec. The standard of cosplayers in Singapore is a dismayal thing…but I had better hopes for the stuff on display.

However, I’d take my words back coz there are quite a few gems of Cosplayers among the heap of lolita-wannabes. A really cute Harumi Cosplayer with amazing thin legs and also a couple of other girls with really good outfits! The guys were not bad but none could compare to the guy who came in a Gundam Suit. RESPECT!

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Ring Ring…

November 16, 2008

Its so dramatic, how 1 call can change everything in a day. I just came back from a happy day, sharing the day’s going-ons with Pooi Yue while we took the train back home. We even had some light dessert and shopped for groceries together before coming home to cook noodles.

Then, Belle called me. Half drunk and with no 1 else to depend on, she called her last resort – me. After repeated attempts to hold some sort of conversation and keep her awake on the line, she cut the line saying she’ll call back. But the damage had been done. Pooi Yue saw me on the line with her.

Now I’m not trying to blame anybody but I’m just bemoaning the fact that my girlfren doesn’t have the understanding and trust that I require. The call came at a bad time too….I tink we both know its better that we stay away. Not that we can’t be frens, but its too difficult to be frens. I sometimes think Pooi Yue ranted abt the correct thing – Why must she call me? . Its a question that I can’t explain but I noe the answer.

The next morning and today, she’s been giving me the cold shoulder despite my attempts to reconcile. Frustrating to be in such a situation , especially since I did nothing to provoke it. My logical side tells me to give my love some time and it will work out in the longer run. It preaches patience and understanding. But my other side tells me that if this goes on any longer, I’ll gladly just fuck it and destroy everything.

Its such a crazy struggle….and to tink it all began with a call.

Damn.

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All This While.

November 8, 2008

Its been truly ages since I last blogged.

The days pass by with godspeed and memories rack up like no one’s business. Pei Yi and I are watching the dust settle on our relationship, as we slowly edge out each other’s deepest and darkest secrets. The common disturbances and rants are fading away and maybe…well really maybe , I can see some hope in her – that she can be The One.

Apart from seeing her daily, I still get to meet Ber occasionally, catch a movie alone and attempt to catch up with Ben and Ron (although most of the times with my love in tow).

Recently, Obama got into the White House and I’m glad to say he’s staying put. The only good Bush is inbetween a sexy woman’s legs alright? I once saw on a Youtube clip that this year( well this century perhaps?) is the time of Change. The Age of Pisces. The handover of almost everything. With every handover of any kind…there’s bound to be some chaos, so I tink we should all hang in there while we wait for the dust to settle.

A global recession is on the loose and I tell you guys…I can feel it already – because my shops sales has hit rock bottom. I can expect every other brand to be crying the same thing…but honestly…if no 1 shops and buys stuff den the brands and shops go bust. With that happening I can tell you we’ll have alot of jobless people adding to the already jobless/scrimping club…so PEOPLE GO OUT AND BUY SOMETHING.

It helps. No I mean it ,it really does. The whole fucking economy works on this simple rule. Some dude/gal buys something and the shops earn money, they pay their staff and their staff buys something. Simple Chain ya? If most people stop buying stuff den there’s no way the economy can run coz its missing one side of the formula….

On a lighter note…I’m sad yet happy to say I’m now the Sole Owner of Monolith Clothings Company.

My partner has decided to leave with her share of the capital and while I dare say she was of a great help…I’ve already got the Company up on its own feet. In a few more orders, my company will be capital free and I can start operating on profits alone. If you guys out there wanna give me a hand…den please go look at the website www.alternativeapparel.com and den email/msn me to get some nice clothes for yourself. Haha!

Meanwhile, I’m gonna head back to my bed. Its gonna be a rocking 2009 in a month plus….and I dunno if its gonna be because of the tanks rumbling downstairs or is it due to the applause and celebrations from the households in my block. But I hope its the latter. 🙂

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Wedding Bells, They Toll For Thou.

October 21, 2008

My darling sis, Sabrina got married yesterday. The preps were long and tiring but it was really fun. The tea ceremony, the haggling over the Bride’s Price and the atmosphere was really exciting.

We sent them to the R.O.M and the solemnisation ceremony, supposely serious, was turned casual by the banter we made in the room.

Just imagine 13 cousins, both parents and a videographer overlooking the entire thing. Stifled giggles aside – the bride and groom were also jibing each other as the process was carried out. After the entire thing we took group photos and left the girls to take photos along Fort Canning’s idyllic scenery.

Rustin and I left for Taka’s Zara to collect my blazer from Pei Yi and along the way we spotted this huge dried cherry. Courtesy of National Museum of Singapore! Quite nice 🙂

We got the blazer and had some light food before dozing off infront of Zara, waiting for Pei Yi to end work.The lady came out in her dress that matched so well with my shirt that we actually got some stares! LOL!

The wedding dinner was a more sombre affair. The mad hectic seating of guests, ushering and greeting all my relatives and introducing Pei Yi to them all…its the usual of wad you’d expect as the family of the Bride.

Pei Yi got to noe almost everyone but I dun expect her to recognise them all….this will be settled in time to come. Meanwhile the whole event turned out fine except for some small hiccups in the seating arrangement.Sabrina’s temper was tested but other den a black face when other’s weren’t looking…she was pretty happy throughout the night. The night ended with pictures pictures and MORE PICTURES…omg!

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The morning after was a funny one. Everyone woke with battered bodies, strained out from the day before. My sis and husband returned home to get some stuff, only to be chided by me, becoz its customary that the bride is not allowed home for the 1st 3 days.

Pei Yi had to work full shift and started to get restless over the renting of a new place to stay. The lady wants me to move out with her but considering I have a room myself, its kinda redundant to spend that kinda money? Hopefully I can convince my mum to rent out Sab’s room to her temporily.

I’m hurting from every joint in my body, but better after popping 2 panadols. Totally strung out of money ever since the wedding day…I’m pretty unsure how to spend my 1 week off and survive till payday.

My mum’s 1st reaction after waking up – was to call my sis. Asking her to remember to serve tea to her parents-in-law was actually a dud…becoz her mum-in-law had left for work and the father-in-law wasn’t even up yet. Hey Hey~ customaries aside…we are all human k? Let us sleep somemore la~ 😛

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100% Ache.

October 10, 2008

Damnit…my whole body is aching from an unknown illness.

At 1st I thought it was just muscle strain from the recent IPT session….but the pain and ache didn’t go away and it only brought on my migraine. I barely managed to go to JB with Pei Yi before it finally took me out. Now I’m home, medicated and unable to stand nor sit for very long. Grrrr~

The both of us have been communicating and getting to know each other more and more…I tink its time she got to know everyone. For the people whom been feeling left out or haven’t been able to pop into me (unlike ppl like Ron ), I tink I will finally be able to bring my new gf to face you all. My dear Ber should be happier since she’s been pretty unhappy recently and Cheryl who’s been hiding behind her desk will get to see the person who holds my heartstrings 🙂

As for the guys…I tink a Ice Cold Session will suffice – ain’t it always the case? lol!

I’ll set the outing for somewhere between 20th Oct (Ber bday if you guys dunno/ and also my sis wedding ) and 27th Oct. This is my leave period.

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She knows the past and gratefully so;

I have nothing to hide and won’t do so.

Little gripes of jealousy thus expect;

But nothing in the long term for her heart to suspect.

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No Replacement.

October 7, 2008

The recent days have been liberating. Although she often complains that I keep mentioning Ber in front of her…Ber however is upset that I’m not spending time with her…at least thats how I feel.

Despite the only resemblence being the hairstyle and that both girls are fair skinned…my dear girl tinks that I’m trying to use her as a replacement to forget Ber. Its coming almost impossible to try to convince her otherwise so I’ve stopped trying. Maybe actions will speak louder den words.

Ber on the other hand…I would love to meet. I’ve told her about this month’s impossible schedule and the IPT appointments I’ve to keep…and the only spare time I’ve got is duly given to my gf. I did try a few times to meet Ber after work…but the timing dun seem to match most of the time…

Even though she doesn’t read my blog or probably never will…I hope one day she’ll come to realise…

There Is No Replacement For You.