A quick Recap.

Well I’ve not been blogging for a few days now….thanks to Janie, Maggie and my darling Belle.  So here I go!

“The late nights will kill us! ” – a certain Someone with the letter H.

——————————————————————————————-

I had this super weird dream when i was sleeping on the living room sofa two nights ago.

I was a ceremonial priest for this weird occult god and i was at this room with a long sacrificial pool. My intention was to create a perfect woman by sacrificing 3 women to my god. But on 1 condition – they had to do so willingly and knowing the process.

So i cajoled them 1 by 1 and 2 of them we eaten gruesomely by the god. the final 1 didn’t wanna die in tat manner so i offered her the option of “melting” in the offering pool. The pool somehow was filled with water but it was acidic i tink? Coz I demostrated wad the water could do as i released a few big black crickets into the water and hit them wif my staff….the crickets broke into pieces and melted away. The woman was terrified but somehow she agreed.

So she stepped in and melted away….and out appeared the horribly ugly girl wif all of the 3 girls flaws…she had a huge belly and a hideous face  and as she turned and lurched at me i shrugged in terror and stepped aside. Den suddenly another girl appeared….she had a wonderful body and amazing features and hair….I tot i had the perfect woman!

But there was 2 flaws…her eyes….were less den average, in fact if i had to say…she had realli ugly eyes and her character was horrible. I can’t explain how i knew her character was horrible but somehow i knew?

Then as i stepped back from my observation….it hit me. Realisation hit me….there will always be a flaw. No matter wad i do, how hard i try, there will always always always be a flaw that is serious enough for me to notice. And maybe i will have to learn to accept that.

I woke up right after that.

Silence! I kill you!

You woke my senses and showed me the way.

Thank you.

You gave me guidance and made my day.

Thank you.

You made me smile and reminded me how i used to be.

Thank you.

I can’t say i will be fine, but i will be.

Thank you.

Belle.

Ten Ewwww.

Ma! Look what I found!

I read a really interesting article yesterday night, but I am unable to link it here. You can ask me for the link if you’re interested. The reviews however, were amusing.

“A lopsided account of events that has heavy leaning towards the author’s personal emotions. Start looking for the other side of the coin.” – Advisory for Letters Valid In November.

“Common sense should and shall prevail, but workplace ethics are tantamount to individual expectations. Take it or leave it.” – Union for Chaffed Hands left Untreated.

“Spitting venom in form of prose is a delicate art form and it is clearly shown in textbook manner by the talented author as aforementioned. However, it is a honest mistake that leads to the start of a preventable battle. Understand the latter to forgive the former. There might be a second edition to this article.” – Well-being and Ethics Indicator, Lonely Idiots Network.

Where’s the plug?

I need to recharge.
My phone is crying red.
My cam’s overworked today.
My ipod’s dished out John Mayer all day.

My heart’s finally let go of Huiqi.

Now all I need is to find the right charger.

Splat

She came today and wanted to talk

she had something to discuss with me

i was scared, i was still feeling too raw to talk to her…but i decided to brave it.

she came in her glory – dress and tank

and we spoke of some random stuff and abt the shop,

but as much as i tried to keep my eyes on her as she spoke,

once she spoke of her feelings, her new date…

i can’t do it, i can’t look, i need to look away, be away,just listen.

usually people add a few white lies in their conversations…

she adds her true emotions in convos just like that.

“some things cannot be forced”

that 1 alone tore my heart apart

i cudn’t be there any longer so i brought her back to the shop.

Claud n Jick’s presence gave me strength, but i could barely smile.

I let her complain, her hates and her pain.

but the longer it got on, the more i felt

so long i forgot wad it felt like when u want to cry;

when u can feel the surge coming to ur eyes,

and ur throat just chokes up,

ur mouth twists

and den i hold it back in.

Again and with conviction this time.

i dun wan to cry, even if it cuts me up inside.

but im not ready to face u yet.

Sorry I’m still raw inside.

—————————————————————————-

Don’t you know i’m still hurting inside

it felt like u came to stab me when i was trying to climb back up

you’re trying to tell me its not easy for you too.

but what’s a pit for you to climb out of, for me its been a mine

to return my love to a friendship,its gonna take some time.

it not anger i’m dealing with, its disappointment

somehow i expected ur crazy moves

in my soul i wished you wouldn’t do so,

but i guess that part reason of y i loved you so.

and if u wanna ask me why i’m so calm;

I’M NOT.

i’m trembling inside, shaking to my core,beaten down by the reality u’ve given.

haunted by our gd memories.

i want the anti-depressants my daughter’s been taking.

she says it erases memories though you cannot choose which.

it sometimes feels like i could take the risk,

and hope it erases this heartache on the 1st try.

Problem solved.

Jickson and Mo gave me this yesterday, to cheer me up from my gloominess for the recent days. I was so surprised and it really brought a smile to my face! Thx alot guys!

I never realli counted how many people would stand by me when i will face problems, but I have finally come face to face with many of them, everyone saying the same thing, everyone giving comfort or a listening ear, everyone…giving a damn. I really tink I owe them one…and I’m pretty grateful coz some of these people are people i care a whole lot about and listen in to their problems on a daily basis.

Of coz we have surprise guests like Peisheng, someone whom I never expected anything from, who grabbed my arm today and asked me if I’m ok. I was really surprised and well, thx for being there.

To everyone who’s spoken to me, shone the light on me and wriggled their fingers at me – THANK YOU. Its worth little in words yet unspoken, but realli , i appreciate it.

I am Problem solved.

This is my last trick.

Worlds inverse;

Wisma’s curse.

Push the button named ‘reset’;

Return to where where we 1st met;

Upset inside but smiling outside;

I can’t help it but I shall decide.

Everything returned from whence they came;

but my heart’s emotion remains the same.

When do you know you’ve found your soul?

The one who talks like how you’ve been told.

Look at her, Alas! follow the flow;

Its not ready to come hold.

Its not bitter – when love is broke

But when love passes – barely close for your fires to stoke.

 

Enough.

Of missing you everyday.

Of looking at my phone hoping for your msg.

Of wondering where are you.

Of sending my smses and poems into thin air.

Of answering the question :”How is you and her?”

Of trying. Again and again. Even when i failed twice.

Of you.

I’m drunk but my heart’s sober.

Point and Shoot.

After last night’s steamboat…Mo and I turned up at work looking realli steamed – Lol! Both of us were damn shagged but we managed to clear a whole lot of work and the leftover stocks in the shop. By the time we figured out everything it was almost 1230pm and the afternoon shift were coming in.

Things started to really heat up and customers were flowing in like free flow Heineken on a Saturday night. Madness! Claudia was under the weather and had a lil puking session in her usual spot…(the storeroom OMG, bless the rest of us!)

Claudia told us she had enough of trying to keep her feelings for Dauser and decided she’d tell her tonight.We all sat down and brainstormed for a way to put it to Dauser and while Claudia and I smoked, she decided that she’ll write a letter. LOL! Not bad actually…i tink she’d have trouble with words upon seeing Dauser, just like how i am when i see Huiqi.

Daniel popped by to get his friend fitted for Alternative Apparel and before we knew it….it was 7pm already. Time to go! I agreed to meet up with Bernice after work at Liang Court and also to check out the digicams. Sadly i had to cancel Belle’s jap lesson for that…but i got it postponed till tml. 🙂

Mo and I hung out at Liang Court all the while i was trying to decide between Canon 860IS and Fujifilm f50d…damn tough lah! I and so used to Canon’s menu and interface (thx to being Huiqi’s personal photographer) but the f50d is so much sleeker and well…12megapixels does sway my decision abit. It wasn’t until Bernice told me the final price for the cams that i had no rational choice but the f50d. It was too cheap to let go! * not giving out on the price coz its gonna cause a frenzy for outside ppl but I’d tell it its wayyyy lower den the retail price 🙂 )

Well now i know where’s my money heading! Time to recheck my finances… my horoscopes’ been throwing warning signals refering to my cash flow and bank balances. Better not spend all my money too early 😛

Prayers answered, but by what God?

I saw her today. I was at FLMP Heeren for a staff meeting and took a chance to pop over and check if she’s there. It was awkward and all the stuff i wanted to say just gushed forward into my throat. Result? ==> nothing came out but formalities.

Well its good enough, i honestly just wanted to know if she’s well and well….she was. My heart’s content.

Well further more good news! We’ve been given a higher rate of commission for our efforts in Dec! Though we didn’t hit target…but we’re getting a 1% rate thanks our Dear bosses and thank you very much Lesley….you said what everyone kept in our mouths. We didn’t tink it would work, but you made the move for us. I realli appreciate that!  😀

I guess its gonna be a nice CNY…and a lovely influx of cash for us cash strapped folks. Can we like cut a few days and make it the 15th tml? lol!