To Be Bespoke.

Things are looking good.

I recently got praised by my COO, HR manager and Brand Manager during a training class by my company and I feel it just paved the way for my seniorship promotion. However, self judgment kicks in…and I’m now wondering if I do have wad it takes. I’m relfecting on my work procedures, how I handle them and comparing myself to the seniors in other shops. I’m sad to admit – I’m still lacking in aspects.

I can consider this a wake up call , since i seem to be at the edge of my path now. I really gotta do some shake up before I get sat down for the real deciding interview. It will no longer be senarios and “what-will-you-do-ifs” but the real, on-the-floor and on-the-fly decision making everyday.

I pray I will emerge ready.

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On a lighter note (lighter since I consider my work more impt den my gf), we are fine now. The occasional bickering and small cold wars are still there…but it warms the memories now, not tears it.

Like I believed, the more we bicker, the more we understand of each other…but I’m starting to see the traits of character which I find unacceptable. Her lack of self-awareness and utter dependency on me is really straining. Consider this – I was having abdominal discomforts due to my gastric flu and all she did was ignore me becoz I didn’t pick her up from the mrt and didn’t pick up her call(I was struggling with my rectum in the loo).

Stuff that I noe I cannot have in my life.

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And finally this part is about the title : To Be Bespoke.

This tagline is actually from one of Zara’s many small collections, themes like MTV collabs, dc comic collabs( Superman/Batman) and those vintage style -whatever styled collections.

I’ve got this sudden urge to custom almost all my stuff. I acquired a softshell jacket recently and I wanna make some additions to it.

To make it look like this:

Pics courtesy of ACRONYM.

Also, I’m really itching to go to bangkok and get a nice black cropped blazer tailored for me. Something to go with really washed jeans.

I’ve got ideas for about 7pieces of clothes…3shirts, 1 jacket, 1 cardigan and 2 jeans/pants….some are to be totally bespoke, some are planned to be slightly customed like the jacket.

But I’m going to pay off all my company n cards next mth…I tink this dream might fuifill itself only in July. Or if I strike tat elusive ToTo 1st prize. hahaa!

Why.

Why do supposingly non-existant quarrels/issues surface from the vocal dwellings of mostly women?

Why does my girl(note the obvious difference) pays so much effort towards behaving in an irrational and unreasonable behavior over petty things?

Why is it a love that demands nothing but simple ,honest, trustworthy co-existence between 2 willing parties – end up demanding for everything else too?

Why does her anger and unhappiness last for over days when mine disperse in the next morning’s air?

Why am I emotionally blackmailed into restricting myself from my dearest friends?

Why am I unable to perform my own routine in my own dwelling and forced to comply with an ungrateful party?

Why is that simple male reason will never triumph over female tantrums?

Why do you wanna make me decide to be alone ?