放手

I got this really late call from Someone last night…that person was trying to get hold of Ber’s frens ; in order to contact her. I dunno wad the silly girl did but it got him to do something. He wasn’t excited nor was he panicking. It was like…just a phone call. Somebody is gonna get hurt when realising this, but yeh. Thats all it was.

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Why do we hold on? What is the reason or result we actually hope for when we cast our anchor in the seas of love and proclaim to wait for this person till the end of time( or until we buay tahan ) ? In this manner we deter others from coming close, we ruin possible relationships and even deny the love of others. FOR?

The ones we love have people in their eyes and we are not those people. There’s a chance too, that even those people have other targets lined up, but we still don’t give up. Like a balloon underwater, we keep trying to reach the surface, no matter how hard u pull us down. But its senseless, meaningless and downright self depreciating . We all deserve proper relationships and people who actually LOVE US BACK.

So reel in your anchor like I have, keep the memories in your treasure chest;

Open yourself to receive the tide, There’s gotta be something better – with the sea so wide.

Ring of Awakening.

I’m so good at memorising things 🙂 In fact I can remember my next week’s schedule! But I forgot that its next week’s and not this week’s! So I happily woke up to my manager asking me where I was, WHEN I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE DOING MORNING DELIVERY!

I panicked, took a cab and got to work 1 hr late. Luckily Ken(my manager) didn’t scold me, but I paid back my 1 hr late by working an extra hr. Hey its very good already! I could have lost my $500 commission as penalty ok? As usual Ken was the best…having cleared all the hanging articles and only leaving me to do presentation and packing of all the folding articles. The rest of the day was slooowwwwww…..my god. But we sold to almost every customer that came in…result? Around 2.5k @ 8pm. WTF lor~

I guess we did our best…

The Duck Knight.

I caught The Dark Knight alone today…right before I went for my RT at 6pm. It wasn’t bad…and I was sitting next to this ah pek in the cinema. AH PEK WATCH BATMAN! Wah! lol!!!! Joker was really cool….its a pity the real actor didn’t make a point to stay alive.

I really liked the part when Joker converted Harvey to his side. He pointed out the 1 thing thats so true in all governments. “Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plans are horrifying….But when I say one little old mayor will die, everyone loses their minds!”

Yes a little anarchy is what we all need…The bit about Chaos Theory is very right. Everything is true and possible…if only you wanna do it your way without the care of others. Joker…was alone , even till the end. But the important thing was…he was right.

I really pitied Batman – he took all the shit, everyone hated him even then, lost his girl to Harvey, had to let his girl die, couldn’t kill Joker because well~ he’s suppose to hand him over to the cops. Sometimes I wonder, if something was so obviously bad, why can’t you just remove it? Well den again I remember the ciggs I can’t do without. LOL!

However the one true moment of the entire show…was when the 2 ferries, each containing civilians and convicts respectively, refused to blow the opposite party’s ferry up. It had the feeling of Saw…but I liked the part where the big sized convict took the detonator and threw it out the window…it was a classic show of faith. Or was it resignation? hm….

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Reasonless Joy.

The com’s been down again for the past 2 days. Honestly there isn’t much to write for now…though if you all wanna noe, I’m quite happy. For what reason? I have no idea. Its a time when sudden joy in relevance of your entire life direction appears from nowhere. I just feel happy. Maybe its because I had a really good conversation with Shumin. Maybe its because I had a great time at work with Janice. Or maybe because my bloody RT is ending next week.

I dunno 🙂

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I really need my pay to be in soon. There’s so many things I wanna buy! LOL! Anyone wanna buy a used computer and a Sony Ericsson K850i AND a Ipod Classic black 30gb? Clear these off my hands….I’m tinking of switching to Mac…

My life needs a big switch.

Where is Home?

I had a really fucked up morning. Actually I was happy and about to go to work, but it was raining and I forgot my umbrella, left with 1 hr to work..I took a cab. The bloody cab driver offered a alternative route (the CTE was farking jammed) and took $30 to get me to Great World. I have NEVER taken such an expensive ride in my whole life for a point-to-point destination. I have ferried 3 people from town to my home during midnight FOR LESS! On top of it all his driving was bad, his road situational awareness was almost nil.

MR DRIVER OF SHA9154x please farking return your cab to COMFORT. You are not fit to drive.

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I just read a thread in Hardwarezone forum’s EDMW and it was talking about the lack of Singapore Flags on display by citizens in the prelude to National Day. Well, its true. The days where we excitedly put up our flags, displaying it for all and sundry to see. Declaring we are Singaporean and lovin’ it. Well guys…thats in the past.

How many of us, after paying taxes, ERP, raise bus and taxi rates, raising food prices and yet see our minister’s pay rise while we slog on for more man-hours/additional tasks for the same pay in order to gain the same level of worth as a FT, serving the country thru Army, endless IPPT/RT and ICT/MOB, only to realise that we have still, been chucked aside and chastised for not fighting hard enough, not working hard enough to be better den a cheaper Foreign Talent?

Yes, Singaporeans are a forgetful bunch, especially when you put $200 in their bank accounts, we all suffer mass-amnesia. But those do don’t forget, blog, post and remind those close beside us…that after all,our money will be still LOCKED UP AS COMPULSORY ANNUITY IN OUR CPF. Now tell me how to believe in my country ?

With everything said, now why do I wanna put up a flag? To celebrate National Day? Have you seen a prisoner celebrate Prison Day with its jailer who beats them all the time? Not me.

I love my country, yes I really do, the Singapore that I remember, where I can walk out in a pair of shorts and $10 and buy a pack of ciggs without getting robbed.But I don’t like paying $10 for my ciggs when more den $5 of the ciggs money goes to a place where I feel is only feeding and growing a committee who is out to drain us all dry.

It may be as simple an action as putting up a flag, but with so much meaning and symbolism tied to it, every little thing that the flag represents…come into play. And this year, well…look around you and all your blocks. You will come to realise that no one, will put up a flag of their own accord – RC committee based HDB flats and private properties notwithstanding.

I love you Singapore!

Monotonousness

I sense something coming up, yet I dunno what or why.

Of all the dreams I had, I actually dreamt of pie(yesterday).

Everyday dun seem to bring, the uncertainty I desire.

Bernice must have put something in my drink,because suddenly miss her.

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It suddenly all changes!

Timbrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee~!

Yesterday was a pretty good meet up session with the guys. We had Ben, Fong, Ron, Phee, Peishan, Qi Quan, Siying, a common fren named Claire and Me. Qi Quan and the girls got driven there while the rest of us walked over to Timbre. When we got there the place wasn’t really packed and it was a decently cool night (though we were all sweating) 😦

The band wasn’t very very good like it was foretold…but we recognised the lead guitarist from Walla Walla’s band. That guy is a god la! His guitar solo were always full of feeling and just made the whole band sound good. We changed the tables when it started drizzling…and the bloody waiter spilled a little of our Heineken on my shoulder when shifting…Don’t waste the beer fucker! The servers are actually a damn lousy bunch…only 1 philippine server spoke proper english…the other 1 was a total wash out. I didn’t even dare to comfirm my order with her becoz she couldn’t even repeat it properly!

We got seated down and started drinking and smoking …god noes how many bottles I had. We started singing along to the songs, making the usual cracks about Sir Phee and basically just having a good time. Qi Quan however was pretty left out though Ah Fong was talking to him. I feel like we’ve started to drift ever since he deferred his ICT for his studies…hell we dun even meet up like this that often anymore. *shakes head* but thats life eh?

Ah Fong actually requested for some songs…but the lousy singer was good for nothing but Lifehouse songs…his voice couldn’t even cut it for Maroon 5 ok? LOL! But he did a pretty good ver of Jason Mraz’s I’m Yours . Well…of coz it triggered my thoughts. After a few old school tunes like :”I shot the sheriff” and even Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight…the band signed off for the night and we went off.

Ah Fong went off for another drinking session back at his workplace.Phee and gf went home while Ben and I went for some grub to sober up. We ended up smoking outside the eating place, talking about why we 2 are the only jokers looking for a gf but not getting any…we boiled it down to 1 main thing :”our inability to forget about the number 1 girl” We end up comparing and somehow nothing beats number 1.

But I’m trying to make all of that change. Slowly perhaps,but surely.

House of Cards.

Art Imitates Life.

Life imitates Art.

Art is my Life.

Or am I just an Imitation?

*picture from a tee in ZARA*

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I had lotsa fun today…even though the bloody Syam didn’t show up for his last day of work. Oh well Good Riddance! I was even thinking whether I should gather everyone back for at least a farewell dinner for his 1 mth’s time here…but I guess I was just too nice. The final result was me extended to a full shift instead of going back at 8pm (which is not much of a difference…) but I can come to work late tml!

Yay~ tml work 1.45pm shiok!

I had the most fun day of the whole week….serving customers, joking with Janice and Ken. I dunno why but I was just damn cheerful and I guess everyone had a great time too 🙂 The hours seemed slow at 1st but when the night crowd came…life was more smooth. I’m only looking forward to my comfirmation and my uniform now…once I get my uniform I’m gonna bring clothes to change at work Mwahaha~!

Lyrical Links.

There are always times when a certain song will trigger back the memory of your past, a period of time be it good or bad. For me…I choose to treasure and reminiscence the past as it floats in  front of my eyes once again, albeit in a flash.

S.E.N.S – Affinity. For those who manage to hear this track…this is my wedding song. This song brings back the days when I was so wildly devoted to Belle, the days where we spent our time together on Irc…and how it all started.

Chester Bennington – System .This song still brings tingles to my cheek whenever I hear it. It revolves around the period of time when I was still with Val. We actually make out to this song…and I can only say…its mad. LOL! But a great song nonetheless.

Any song from Micheal Learns To Rock. For god’s sakes I actually hate this band alright? But whenever my ears prick up to this…the compact ver of the 2 years I spent in RSH Stadium comes back to my head. The tennis rackets, throwing display shoes around with Darren and my team of part-timers – Vannessa…Xiaobai…and the lovely bass when I try to fuck the system by playing hip-hop when the manager is not around 😛 LOL!

Bryan Adams – All for Love. This is the 1st song I ever learnt to sing by heart…by myself, on a cassette tape which I recorded. I got the recording when the radio played the song after an afternoon of waiting lol! I was only 10? But with it comes the memory of AMH( Ah Ma House) and my 3 cousins(Rustin,Gary,Peijun) whom I spent almost every after-school afternoon with.

X Japan – Forever Love. Ahh…this 1. It holds the days of Irc and the time when I was learning Jap thru my job as a videographer. From these days I got to know the core of my frens, Sano, Honggy,Belle and lots of people whom I actually managed to spot on the streets. Japanese culture and interior design was my life. And it all cracked when Hide went to the great stage in the sky.

Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars. Actually almost any song reminds of the time I worked in CHECK. Yeow, Eugene,Joanne, Leslie, Xiao Qing, Patrica, Sandy…these people filled my life then…and Snow Patrol was the 1st CD they allowed me to play….after I had secretly been playing it ever since they allowed me to open shop alone. The surreal 3 hours before the Heeren crowd sets in…my morning coffee and magazine…somehow even cleaning up the shop was a nice memory lol!

Cranberries – Zombies. LOL! This one brings a grin across my face everytime I remember. Ok, this was because of a time when Ron,Ben,Fong,Phee and I was in army. We were in our second year and we were slacking around…and Ron was playing his guitar. He suddenly played Zombie and we started to sing softly( we were supposed to keep quiet so we wun get “arrowed” to do some stupid duties like cutting grass, sweeping some general area. But we sang the song softly until the chorus and we started to yell :”In your head, In your head ZOMBIE ZOMBIEZOMBIE~~~ !!!” We were totally screaming until we suddenly realised and started laughing out loud. The duty sergeant could actually hear us from the ground floor and came out of the office and started shouting at us to shut up. LOL! But we did it again , although the second time wasn’t tat funny as the 1st time hahaha!

I’m sure everyone has a few songs that bring back a smile or a tear….anyone wanna share it here? Write the song and the memory in the comments! 🙂

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I met up with Ber after work…she was suppose to sell her fone but the buyer was a pilot. End up we had dinner together and chatted about everything. Alot of stuff to talk to her about and I was totally rambling on la! But it felt good coz I really missed her…the hour long dinner felt like 20mins…lol! Thats why we are gonna meet again tml morning. You can’t have too much of a good thing lol!

Leftie Chewer.

My hell week is over! Recently I had a pretty rough time…always being holed up in the storeroom whenever I come to work. I spent my full shift yesterday stuck in there since 8am till 7pm. It wasn’t until the morning shift people had to go home till they actually asked me to come out and help serve lol! But it was ok…I was restructuring the entire Men’s storeroom for the new Fall/Winter format. A hell lot of work I tell you! Folding and refolding!

Physically… my mouth is swollen. I dunno wads wrong but my gums are swollen. I would like to think of it as “heatiness” but den again…I remember there is actually a extra tooth under my wisdom tooth. is it coming out? If tats the case…I tink I’m gonna be at least $300 bucks poorer again! Damnit! Dental on Wednesday…god bless me.

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I haven’t met up with much of my buddies after I returned from reservist…*Ber,Ron’s gig was just too short ok? Doesn’t count! * I really miss Cheryl…though we chat on the phone…and Belle. Its not so much of the painful kind of I-miss-Belle-so-badly thoughts anymore…but its more of I-wondering-how-my-darling-Belle-is kinda thoughts.

And even more so…because it is breakup season. Well at least for me! People around me are having relationship problems and I tink its a seasonal thing. The last 1 was in March? Quite a few frens went thru breakups and relationships worsened.

For Kenny and Shanon, if you all read this…I just wanna say that both of you love each other very much, even right now as you are reading this. But always remember, a relationship is about two people, coming together, to live and love each other. Inbetween those 10 words…are petty squabbles and decision-making and also…the best version of yourself. Don’t just listen to your own argument…you gotta go thru wad the other party is saying as well! Both of you have compromised and come so far, now its time to show each other the changes and improvements both of you have actually made to make this relationship work. I really hope to see you 2 again…not on separate occasions//venues, but like during the times we chilled at Serangoon Central’s Mac.

Remember? True Love never did run smooth.