Bad day turned good.

I woke up late this morning…the alarm didn’t go off…I had to rush down in a cab. Sitting in the cab alone….just triggers me. The memory of you sitting there, lap so inviting…I wish I could just lay my head on them just once more…but you’re not here today.

I was spotted by Huiqi as I came back from Lucky Plaza….we exchanged a few formalities but that was about it…Anyway the day got better when Ber came! We had lunch together and she helped out in the shop. Ber’s a real godsend in the shop and though I dun tink words are really enough at times….THANKS ALOT BERNICE!!! She folds the clothes, does the stock, serves customers and put backs clothes….I tink I need to start giving her $6 an hr…lol! She will be hired in an instant if she ever applies

Claudia was on MC again…the migraine killing her, reducing her to a stoned zombie again. But she came by today to give me her MC…and showed us the new tattoo she got. Lovely! A Japanese flower wif yellow shading…very nice la! It was really good shading…but the girl didn’t tink it was good enough lol!

After work, Frendy , Ber’s fren LiYue and I all went to Balcony for a short drinking session. It was a really nice time as we chilled and chatted( BABY I KNOW YOU WANNA NOE …but LP wasn’t around ok? Her chai was. Lol!) Li Yue was a totally hottie…like if u are a straight guy like me…wad more can u ask for? Nice figure, above average looking face, she’s a teacher who clubs and doesn’t smoke, stays in a semi-d and is exceptionally well mannered and very very chatty, did I mention she was intellectual too? I tink I’m gushing wahhaa…

But facts 1st…she’s really very nice…but my heart’s taken already. Well its not like her’s isn’t~! She’s got her own crush too…The 3 of us chatted away….and poor Frendy kept to himself. I tried to pull him in but he was tired and well…just drank and smoked till he had to go and catch the last train. We, however, stayed abit longer den left for Kopitiam(yes dear its the 1 where we went to ) to have some Teh-O.

We sat there and chatted somemore…abt Ber’s fren, and horoscopes in general. That subject is such a crowd pleaser It was also very amusing to know…that between the 3 of us…the 2 lovely ladies were my best match! 1 was a Gemini and another was a Libra. Both highly capable of being my soulmates and all very compatible with each other…naturally we clicked very well.

We continued the convo all the way home as we all stayed in the East side, Ber’s in AMK and Li Yue and I in Sengkang…how convenient ! Maybe we can hang out again sometime

Love you till no end.

Today went pretty well…although I’m still affected by the lack of your presence. It came as i walked towards the shop and realised I do not have you in tow…I opened the shop alone today and for the next 2 hrs…there was nobody. Nobody to break the spell that was cast…the constant reminders of where you used to sit beside me on the chair, ur reflection in the mirror, being able to hug you as we whiled the time away together….

*snaps out of it*

Yeh ok that was that. Frendy came in the afternoon and things started to pick up. I settled a few paperwork stuff and basically the day was riddled wif a constant flow of customers (okok i left out tat boring 1 hr where we mauled around the Ipod) but generally it was a good day!

Javen came by to pick up Claudia’s medicine at night…the poor girl and her menses left her unable to work. Bernice came by during the afternoon too and she sat in the storeroom trying to finish up the card she had made for Jovi…very nice drawings lor! She made a 10 page book with a storyline and realli realli quaint drawings I tell you!

I didn’t fare too badly coz during the 2 hr haitus in the morning…I made something for Belle too…I shan’t say wad it is yet…coz my baby reads this blog too

But it will be announced when I’ve given the dear girl the gift. Maybe when she returns?

Either way…I love her to no end.

Like a foot without a shoe.

I woke up at 11…to meet Bernice for today. A little escape to try not to tink of my baby too much…well? I dunno if i could actually say it was a success.

We met up at Tampines and having nothing much to do, we decided to watch a movie – P.S I Love You. Yes folks its the very same movie i watched with Belle, well this time round…it was a little different. I ended up crying…the tears just came as the tearjerker moments came when I previously could hold back and still wipe away Belle’s tears…this time i had no 1 to do so for me. The scenes + the lack of Belle’s presence = sorrow.

I came out of the cinema with haste…my face tear-streaked and puffy, upset at myself for being like this. And i came out…and realised i forgot to wash my face…lol wad a klutz! I washed up at the outside basin and we walked out for a smoke and to draw some cash. The queue at the atm were a weird bunch…they didn’t face the front , however they all turned around constantly to look at me. I have totally no idea why…

Bernice met a old ex-crush and she chatted a little…as we walked to the MRT to head down to Bugis…I asked her :” Ber, is my face very chui?”

The girl just replied :” Ya…you look like you’ve been crying all night.”

We walked past a Diners credit card application booth and i suddenly had the urge to apply, so i sat down and filled up the details. The guy attending to us tried to get Ber to sign up but she couldn’t do so without her parents’ approval so he gave up…and the funniest thing he said was when i was trying to fill up the “closest relative/next of kin” section…he told me to write “my gf’s name” and he nonchalantly refered to Bernice with his chin. Lol!

Bernice quickly shot him down saying that her bf is not here…and as I was distracted with all this…I went on to write “Mum” as the name for that section…when i was suppose to write my mother’s name lol!!!!!

Oh well…:( Anyway we were to meet KC at Bugis and head down to Haji Lane to show him where the shop selling flannel shirts were. But before that we visited Mo! Wah… his new workplace environment is very relax…no stress, no serving, but a ton of clothes to fold.

Look wad 3 indonesian shoppers did in 20mins….but ok la they bought a whole load of tees….like almost 10 pieces?

We left after the storm and had a quick smoke…but Bernice didn’t join us for Haji Lane. She had a Dinner and Dance to attend

Haji Lane was pretty chill..and as we walked around spotting gd buys we realised we didn’t have much money (end of the month ma!) so we just kept to ourselves. It was near evening and we were all hungry from the shopping so KC introduced us to a cafe//pub right smack in the midst of Haji Lane. I noe the place but i haven’t eaten there before…so we had our meal there. My god… the Hunk Burger is delicious! Beef though…but it comes wif a nice serving of fries and some coleslaw…delicious!

We chatted a little and den headed to the shop(it was closed earlier) and bought 1 shirt for $39bucks. Pretty decent I would say

I accompanied Kc and his fren back to Toa Payoh…and along the way we just chatted about work. I guess we are all planned out

After I sent him off…I put John Mayer on and sat on 159 all the way home…my mind filled with nothing but Belle and the lovely 1st outing we had at Changi Beach…the evening sun does wonders…isn’t that rite Dearie? … Dearie? shit… Dearie’s in Burma. Shucks…:(

Leaving On A Jet Plane

 *Sing along to the tune of Jewel’s “Leaving On A Jet Plane”

Now her bags are packed
And she’s ready to go
She’s calling me while in the car
I hate to cut you off – we don’t have time
Its time to check-in
But customers call
Your daddy’s waitin
He’s calling your phone
Already I’m so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Trust me and wait for me
Miss me like we always have done so
’cause you’re leavin on a jet plane
Though I know when you’ll be back again
Oh babe, 1 month to go?

There’s so many times I’ve seen you frown
So little times I turned things around
I tell you now, I won’t change a thing
Every place I go, I’ll think of you
Every song I sing, I’ll sing for you
When you come back, we’ll talk about everything

So kiss me and smile for me
Take care and do miss me
I’ll be here waiting quietly on the fone
cause you’re leavin on a jet plane
one month till you’re be back again
Oh babe, I miss you so

You order BK to try to fill you
The gate is calling
but let me kiss you
Tell me the words
you want to say today
Talk about the days to come
When you return back to my arms
As for the answer, I won’t have to say

Oh, baby Its plain to see
I love you like you love me
The future is here for us to hold
Though you’re leavin on a jet plane
I know that you’ll be back again
Oh babe, be safe and go

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My baby has gone today, but I’m glad. Its a long trip that she’s been waiting for, to escape and enjoy her time alone.

I’ve managed to hold back everything fighting inside me…until i reached my void deck. The emotions surged and as i clenched my fists and fought the tears back, the yearning feeling, the lack of her presence. The realization that this will last 1 mth – 31 days – 744 hours – 44640 minutes…how do you find words to properly describe?
I will stand tall and whisper my ‘gd mornings’ daily…although I know, but i still hope you miss me.

Fuc-keen nice.

I’m not vulgar.

I just use the word : “Fuck” to describe how serious or deeply i feel about the matter at hand. It often comes out as “wow thats fucking nice!” or ” wah fucking sian la!”, i dun mean it in a bad way but its the way i speak, so sorry if anyone feels offended

—————————————————————————————-

Today I broke down.

And as I made the culprit fetch me some tissue, I suddenly realise. I’m grown attached. Too attached maybe? Or maybe I haven’t been loved for so long, or even experienced the feeling of being loved. The care and concern, overwhelms me.

It was like the very 1st time i started to like you, when you would rather talk( type rather…) to me online with your hands still injured after being cut by glass. It…realli shook me, and so i fell. Very much in love with you ya?

The tears of joy…made me realise that I’ve crossed the line, again. Twice for all this 7yrs…I hope this time we will last. Coz there won’t be another time.

My Love…

I fucking love you long time

The Fitting Room.

You enter the room in excitement;

Fumbling around, you take off some clothes.

You get down to business;

Oh boy! Does it feel shiok!

After some time, you had enough;

You come out of the room – your hairstyle roughed.

Back to the world you once belong;

Reality is when you hear the songs.

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Do you remember the 1st time you went shopping?

B-day wishes do come true!

I startled awake to a running start…coz i was late to meet Cheryl @ Funan the It Mall. I ended up rushing down in a cab to realise she was @ HMV Citilink Mall and when she arrived, we had a quick bite at Ya Kun. I gave Belle a few miss calls to try to wake her…but another side of me wanted to let her grab some more sleep before seriously trying to wake her up.

Cheryl and I spent almost 2hrs in funan…walking around trying to find a gd trade in price for her Ipod. The intention was to get a Ipod Touch for her bf. How sweet right? We finally settled at a shop she had previously discussed with and it was such luck tat she dealt wif the manager himself previously. He gave her a realli inresistable price for both our Ipods…but if i had spent the money on the Ipod Touch…I’d be broke for the rest of the month – and tats a no-no! I sadly gave up the offer and embarked on the search for my long sought after Linksys Wireless G Adapter. We settled that 1 easy…and den we walked over to Peninsular Plaza to see some shoes.

I settled my Nike Dunk Hi in 10mins and happily we walked towards Raffles City to buy wrapping paper for the Ipod Touch. Cheryl and I checked out our fav shop – Agnes B and grab a few of their free goodies (pencils and a some condoms lol!) Belle had woken up by then and Cheryl’s friends were suppose to meet her for a movie at Cathay. So we went over to Cathay and I tried to settle Belle.

We talked on the train…about Alvin Ong and about Belle and I …how our relationships were starting to settle and start out respectively…and it all came from the condom. Lol! Funny how 1 small topic can snowball into a conversation. Cheryl told me Carmen started her 1st day of work when we reached Cathay so we decided to go look for her (she’s now working at the cinema) . Cheryl gave a pretty loud hi and elaborately waved to her when we spotted her coming down the escalators…but to our shock…the lady beside her…WAS HER MANAGER! Super stun la! But Carmen took a toilet break and caught up wif Cheryl for a while so yeh … gd luck to the lady for her 1st day!

More shocking news came…Belle had started the 1st day of her menses. To most this is normal stuff, but when its Belle…it means standby the medivac and high alert for everyone. I made my way to Plaza Singapura, mainly to find Jickson and see how is he…and oso to while away some time. I ended up helping Jickson n Jia Hao to serve the customers (or the lack of them) but my handphone batt was dying. Belle had taken her medication and suddenly went uncontactable …I was so worried I called her fone so many times, her bro picked up. He told me I had called the wrong number andI figured something was wrong soI hung up. Turns out that he was playing prank on me In the evening Belle suddenly called but my phone died. I called Wisma and turns out that Belle’s there!

I rushed over in like 10mins and found my darling Belle…

We had a short cigg and den we head to Ichiban Sushi to have our dinner. We tried the curry udon and rice and ordered sake…but the sake wasn’t very nice tasting. It had a vodka kick and a beer aftertaste lol! Overall it was very fun….a nice dinner and the sharing of the desert(a rock melon sorbet) was very funny…we took a few pics and attracted the attention of the patrons around us as usual

We went back to the shop and den left again to buy ciggs and bubble tea for Frendy. On the way back, Belle saw someone she didn’t wanna see and as i reached out to comfort her, she flung my hand aside…I dunno why…but it triggered me and I realli flared up for the 1st time. I shut myself up the same way she did as we crossed the road and we smoked, each at our corner at the escalator landing. She broken the silence by making some small talk, but I was still fuming so I needed some more time…so i kept quiet. Suddenly claudia called to ask me buy Mac for her…in the midst of my frustration and the call, Belle tried to help me hold the bubble tea as i needed my hands.

The result? the bubble tea fell to the floor headfirst and burst. I was super annoyed! Not at Belle or even Claudia….but at the fact that it burst. And we have to go back to Lucky Plaza Oh well…but Belle went straight off and it made me feel that she was mad at me?  Worried, I went after her and got Claudia’s McChicken and then approached Belle in the storeroom. Everything was cleared up after a straightforward discussion and we were back to normal in a while.

Hannah came by as we closed and took a change of clothes in the fitting rooms and after that Belle piggybacked Hannah as we walked towards Cine with Frendy in tow…We end up at Hong Kong Cafe and had a very frustrating event. Ok more like 2 events…we tried to swap tables to get a cushioned booth and we were denied twice! The waitress helping us was too slow and gave away 2 chances before we finally got a proper booth. We chatted as weate…but it felt like we were at 2 different tables, occasionally swapping the topic with each other…it could have been better…but oh well…I’ll be content.

Belle and Hannah went off to Balcony to have a drink…and I accompanied Frendy home…Not how i would like to end the night…coz i missed a hug and kiss from my baby…but well I can’t complain abt it – coz I got my darling with me on the phone as i type this ! Hi Sweetie! LOL!

15 and 16

All this while…Belle’s presence in the shop is actually keeping me alive and happy. She’s been a realli big part of my past 2mths or so. In the shop, she’s a big help, taking hangers from customers and directing them to the fitting rooms, helping us keep and eye on those who need assistance. It felt like she was one of the staff…but she’s actually alot more…to me at least =X

Today was really bad…the sales was low and the crowd was almost nonexistant. Well at least for the evening part after Claud , Rex and Frendy left…Jiahao wasn’t too bad…and he warmed up after a while and started talking. Belle and I…well…teased each other throughout the day and had lotsa fun.

There was something of importance to be noted today…as i realised what that choking feeling was…when Belle told me she’d accompany Frendy after work to go to Far East to buy a fedora hat…It was a stupid yet bitter feeling, it choked me and made me frown. I dun like it but…it was written all over me. I was jealous. Damnit! yes i was i admit it!  Its  so ridiculous since Belle and I have no official status…but den again we are together already. Its confusing me…But she appeared again very quickly and all was fine.

Frendy’s getup for his Alumni dinner was very stylish, wif a bandanna and the hat and a V neck top…And a surprise guest , Pauline showed up. She gave me a few words for thought and really set my mind at peace for a while…I tink Pauline is Heaven-sent…coz everytime i and stressing over stuff in the shop and once i am almost at the point of breakdown, she appears. Does she know how much she has done? I am realli grateful…and maybe i’m just lucky in that way…

The few hrs towards the closing was a nitemare…a sudden change in part timers schedule had me clamouring all over trying to get staff for the nxt 2 days…and Jiahao was my unexpected savior – the good man sacrificed his off day to help cover a empty slot for Monday. I really owe him one…

After the dust had settled…I gave my thanks to Belle…she had been there, in quiet support, all this while. Baby don’t tink i didn’t hear you try to ask Net not to disturb me…i know. You helping me to direct the other stuff around me so I managed to focus and clear the task at hand…Baby thank you! I’m so glad i had you around….:)

This too, shall pass.

Happy Birthday Mr Alvin!

I’ve not been blogging for the past few days due to my very busy recent days…well the next few posts shall explain!

I went to work today and when Claudia arrived at work for her PM shift…she bought a cake! For my birthday Very yummy Chocolate fudge cake that had a nice rum filling.

They first asked me to help them take something from the storeroom but i was a kinda distracted and merely looked at the fitting room and suddenly Mo appeared with the cake ! (okok i dun really remember exactly…but yeh) it was a very nice surprise coz i had totally no inkling of wad was gonna happen…and it was extra sweet coz Belle was with me.

We sang the birthday song with the lights off…and managed to attract the security guard over to the shop…He thought we had a power outage. But we reassured him we’ll turn the lights back on after the song and we quickly sang, made a wish(secret! dun ask!) and took a few snapshots

*pics will be added! pls check back!*

Kelsey came buy selling flowers for the impending V-day and since Belle wasn’t around, i bought them, hoping to surprise her for tonight…but i didn’t know how i was gonna hang out wif her without her realising i have flowers for her…esp so since i was working AM shift! so i hid them in the shop for the moment…

Lunch was another milestone for me and Belle…i actually went over to her house and Marvin was home! It was surreal yet terrifying to be actually seated beside Belle’s bro…honestly its not becoz he is scary or fierce or wad-not…but its actually just becoz its been 7 yrs. 7yrs of keeping us under wraps….I’m sure he noes who I am…but now I actually will converse wif him? I dunno wad he tinks of me and the uncertainty kills me .

After work, Belle didn’t call and so i quickly left the shop(Nicholas and Vincent came) and went to Taka to shop abit. I bought a Agnes B Keychain and well…i was very happy! I love their stuff. until Belle called saying she’s feeling sick. I went over toLucky Plaza to get her some Yong Tau Foo as she had a slight cold and made her way to her home.

Dinner was another surreal affair…the fact that i was seated, IN HER HOME, AT HER DINING TABLE, HAVING DINNER TOGETHER. My god i tell you…5yrs ago, this was an absolute fantasy. It was unimaginable yet dearly sought after by me….yet it is now THE PRESENT REALITY. It took me a while to shake that off…and there was also the phobia of her Dad coming back and seeing us like that.

We had a little chat in the room and while she was drying her hair, I tried to sneak my Vday present onto her bed in her room. However as we prepared to leave she found the bag of presents on her bed lol…Kind enough she didn’t open them yet…but left them to be revealed on Vday itself Thx Baby!

We had a hard time trying to close all the room doors as we could find 1 of her cats, Thalay(i dunno if its how u spell it but it will suffice) and promptly spent 30mins trying to make it come to the living room. The cat was terrified of me for a reason I dunno why…but it rushed out from the room after i came in and tried to coax it out.

We met up with the rest of the guys at the shop…and we tried to send Mo homewards becoz Amy was waiting at his house as a surprise to him…Dauser, Claudia, Belle and I headed to Cine’s Hong Kong cafe for a quick meal before watching PS I Love You. It was damn good movie…heartwarming yet it had so many parts that reminded Belle of her sorrow…I understood the themes of separation and loss in the movie…but i realli liked the effort that Jerry’s(the main char who died in the beginning) showed for his wife. Belle cried, just like the time we watched Dan in Real Life….but its alright

We left the theatre hand in hand…making small talk happily as we headed for the lift…and realised that we were the only jovial couple around. The rest of the people were either solemn or quiet, holding each other…we were all doing the same thing…but i guess our mood set us apart from them. And yes it felt special.

Belle’s dad was very angry about Belle’s late night movie as it ended abt 2am. So Claud had to pretend to be Belle’s primary school fren so as to throw her father off…It worked, since Claudia’s so small sized and Belle was sent back safely. I left Dauser and Claudia to enjoy the rest of the night together and head home to call Belle

Thx everyone for their efforts! and I hope everyone had a gd Vday!

29 and the road seems long.

This song kills me and makes me reborn.

Over and over again.

On my Ipod.

It takes me back to the time me and Belle went to Changi Beach for the 1st time…that long ride on bus 29, the evening air as we arrived, the dying sunlight as we walked towards the beach and taking pics with the stray cats there…and then settling down at the beach, taking turns to look after our stuff, taking in the breeze as we attempted to have a proper Japanese lesson there.

*breathless*

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I managed to clear half my list of To-dos today…I went to Haji Lane alone and got my dentist visit done with *wide grin showing clean teeth* lol!
I found 2 worthy items for Belle’s Valentine’s day present…and it was realli tough trying to figure out which 1 to get…so i bought them both. =X But i got a problem…how am i supposed to send them out? Bernice called at the right time and we met up and went to town…she accompanied me to get my *ahem * stuff =X and well…we walked around for a bit in Muji as Cheryl was still on her way.
When Cheryl arrived with Carmen(her fren) the 4 of us were dying of hunger! So we went down to Park Mall to have Sakae sushi! We all had the buffet and sadly i was the ONLY 1 PAYING ADULT PRICE. SIAN LOR!
We talked as we ate..talking abt Belle and Cheryl’s bf and Carmen’s bf and Ber discussed cameras with the 2 girls. As usual, Cheryl was confused with Belle’s status in my life so i gave her the general outline of how we met. Halfway thru the meal, the four of us went out for a smoke break…its the 1st time i ever had a smoke break while eating Sakae lor! Its so funny…to me only la =X
I throughly enjoyed myself throughout the meal..the combination of Ber and Cheryl realli kept me smiling throughout the whole day. At the end of the meal…i suddenly though of Belle. Wondering if she had her meal yet…and wad the hell was she eating over there in Burma. Cheryl caught me in the midst of that thought and kept on asking me wads up…i just didn’t wanna say it out and spoil the happy mood so…yeah.
Bernice was tired so she went home 1st…so Cheryl and I accompanied Carmen over to the bus stop to wait for her bf. We waited and chatted for so long and the joker still haven’t arrive yet…so Carmen kept on apologising , saying her bf is short and fat so he walk slow…i was like “wtf la dun say ur bf liddat ma? ” But she told me its true…but she loves him alot…can tell la…Carmen has tat gleam in her eye when she mentioned him…its the kind of glow when you are talking about some1 you hold dear….I wonder if i have that gleam when i mention Belle??? Lol! Anyone kind enough to look out for me?
Cheryl and I left shortly and headed to Cathay Gramophone to look for a Jap Anime called Beck. Sadly we couldn’t find it and the staff didn’t noe either. I tink i noe the malay girl who helped us…but i couldn’t comfirm so i didn’t acknowledge her
We sat down at Plaza Singapura’s Starbucks after a while…and the topic turned to marriage. Carmen’s almost got her heart set on her bf(yes even told she keep saying he’s short and fat – she says it in the name of gd fun and love lol), Cheryl’s got “comfirmed” by Alvin Ong’s family members…and well…yeh she’s happy
As for me…I’m still alone, I have no plans to settle down…though if I am to do so…all it takes for me is to activate my Marriage Status plan and start the saving account. All for 2 yrs and i tink the bank should be well and full. However, on the topic of WHO to marry…Of all the possible combinations out there…I’m still quite settled that the final partner is still Belle. The strongest and probably the only 1 good enough to be considered.
But when we got down to discussing Belle…she brought up all my old worries, her family background and her parents, my desires for a quiet wedding(which i dun tink her parents or my parents might agree to?)…i dunno…and now is not the time for me to fret.
The path ahead is still unlit. Let time shine the way.